The pizza shop where I steal wi-fi was ATTACKED FROM THE SKY! And on the very afternoon I was going to upload my exposé on DRONES… PTERODACTYL DRONES! Coincidence? I think NEVER!
It’s too bad I couldn’t upload the 2TB PDF - it’s a pretty eye-opening read. But here’s one of the high quality illustrations from it:
Nature finds a way.
A lot of WEIRD weather has been happening in Beach City lately. First, a crystal flower shower, and now it’s raining GUYS! You know, G.U.Y.S.? Guys Under Your Supervision! They’re toys.
My guess is it’s some viral marketing campaign, but I’d never buy that junk. Kids collect GUYS, but men collect BOYS!
You know, B.O.Y.S.? Boys On Your Shelf! They’re figurines made out of pewter! Much more collectible and distinguished. There’s a ton of ‘em!
Yesterday, a bunch of weird crystalline flowers showered Beach City at sunset. Who knows where this mysterious flora came from. Perhaps it was a seasonal gift from nature. Or perhaps it was to signal THE INVASION OF BEE PEOPLE FROM OUTER SPACE!!!
Either way I was SUPER ALLERGIC TO IT. I was sneezing so hard I almost vomited. But it was the perfect setting to recreate a scene from the anime On The Mountain of My Innocence of My Youth. A coming of age tale about a Japanese schoolboy who overcomes the death of his father by playing the oboe.
SPOILER: the oboe turns out to be magic and becomes his girlfriend!
This week, I thought I’d investigate the classic legend of the BEACH CITY CARNIE GRAVEYARD!
Back in the 30s, the county passed a law banning “circus folk” from being buried amongst “regular folk”. So the circus folk found a plot of land where they could bury their loved ones with respect, or in the case of the clowns, shove them all into one coffin.
Anyways, it’s rumored that lots of famous acts are buried right here by the boardwalk. Acts like Lucille the Lemon!
The Twin Twins!
And the greatest oddity of them all - the 1929 Beach County Jewish Basketball Team!
The location of the Carnie Graveyard was secret, but I figured our local carnival owner, Mr. Smiley, might know of it’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, when I asked him, he gave me the old “What is wrong with you and why do you think I would know where a bunch of dead clowns are buried” routine. It all but confirmed my suspicion that the Carnie Graveyard definitely exists and one day I’ll find it.
SOMEONE BROKE TEENS OF RAGE!!! ask;ldfjas! Teens of Rage was my favorite game! I’m just so full of some kind of emotion. ANGER! No anger isn’t the right word. But something like anger!
Funland had the only Teens of Rage cabinet in all of Delmarva! I guess I’ll have to start playing Virtua Teens of Rage.
Virtua Teens of Rage was a crappy “3-D” version of the original ToR - made to compete with modern fighters. It looked like butt.
I don’t want to be dramatic but my life is over. RIP ALL VIDEO GAMES EVER.
I was FOOLED yesterday. FOOLED into thinking Steven had an invisible pet lion. So stupid. I like to think of myself as a skeptical free-thinker, so I’m surprised I believed such a silly idea.
In other news, Steven might be pregnant! Haven’t been able to get him to take a pregger test yet, but I did snap this pic of him hate-eating pizza.
Could it be a baby bump?!
I TAKE IT BACK, WRESTLING IS VERY REAL.
Purple Puma totally buried me tonight! I didn’t even get to use my signature move, the Head Loch! Let’s face it, I’m just going to be a mid-card jobber for the rest of my life. At least I’m a champion where it counts - THE INTERNET!
Just snapping a quick selfie before my match tonight at Beach City Underground! Since I pinned Tommy Ten Fingers last week, the Loch Ness Bloggster finally getting his big main event push against one of the company’s top heels!
Don’t worry about yours truly getting hurt, though… we all know wrestling is just pretend!