I’ve heard rumors of an ancient mystery at the Beach City Mini-Golf and Shrimp Buffet.  Legend is the giant plastic dinosaur at the 6th hole IS AN ACTUAL DINOSAUR.  Supposedly the original owner secretly kept it as a pet, and after it died, he preserved it underneath fiberglass and shellac!
I went to check it out with a golf bag full of putters and a prograde carbon-tipped hacksaw!  After a frustrating couple of holes at the windmill and that IMPOSSIBLE clown head, I finally made it to the dinosaur.  But just as I started sawing through the brontosaurus’s leg, I got spotted by a mini-caddy.  He started running at me and yelling for his manager.  I tried to stop him by tipping over a bucket of golfballs (a trick that always works in the movies to delightfully comedic results), but he just kicked them aside, and somehow one of them rolled into the clown head!  COME ON!
Anyway, he took my hacksaw and banned me from mini-golf for life.  Whatever, at least they didn’t ban me from the shrimp buffet!
EDIT: Turns out they banned me from the shrimp buffet too.

Double whatever, you can’t hide the truth forever!

I’ve heard rumors of an ancient mystery at the Beach City Mini-Golf and Shrimp Buffet.  Legend is the giant plastic dinosaur at the 6th hole IS AN ACTUAL DINOSAUR.  Supposedly the original owner secretly kept it as a pet, and after it died, he preserved it underneath fiberglass and shellac!

I went to check it out with a golf bag full of putters and a prograde carbon-tipped hacksaw!  After a frustrating couple of holes at the windmill and that IMPOSSIBLE clown head, I finally made it to the dinosaur.  But just as I started sawing through the brontosaurus’s leg, I got spotted by a mini-caddy.  He started running at me and yelling for his manager.  I tried to stop him by tipping over a bucket of golfballs (a trick that always works in the movies to delightfully comedic results), but he just kicked them aside, and somehow one of them rolled into the clown head!  COME ON!

Anyway, he took my hacksaw and banned me from mini-golf for life.  Whatever, at least they didn’t ban me from the shrimp buffet!

EDIT: Turns out they banned me from the shrimp buffet too.

Double whatever, you can’t hide the truth forever!